Abuse is Not Okay
Sunday, September 16th, 2007The other afternoon, I heard from a judicatory leader who shared a disturbing conversation she’d had with a young church pastor who was having a hard time with some “antagonists” in the church. He’d gone to several more experienced pastors to get advice, but hadn’t been able to solve the issue. So he mentioned the issue to the judicatory leader seeking her wisdom. She told me she’d listened to the pastor and then asked what advice he’d received so far. He told her, “They told me that pastors should expect to be abused by their congregation, but that doesn’t make it any easier for me.”
What a sad commentary . . . a pastor should expect to be abused. This story served as a reminder to me that many, many churches in North America are in a sorry state. In fact, abusive churches have become more the “rule” than the exception.
I know that’s hard to fathom, for some. Some of you reading this are in healthy, thriving churches that support their church leaders fully. But then there are the rest of you. And it’s you that the rest of this post is for.
First, abuse is not okay. Never has been, never will be, and there are a few things you can do about it if you are being abused. First, I invite you to read a couple of books. Start with Antagonists in the Church.
Second, if your church won’t put an end to the abuse, and if you can’t do it on your own, then run, don’t walk, to your bishop, DS, regional minister, area minister, mission associate, etc. and ask them to help you find another church or calling. But whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to be abused by the church because abuse is not okay.
Bill T-B
